This week we read the last few principles to ensure that people like you. Principle five is to talk in terms of what the other person wants, four is to be a good listener, and six the most important one, is to sincerely make the other person feel important. Carnegie tells the story of Roosevelt’s research nights to prepare for his guest. Why would he do this? With good manners come with petty sacrifices.
Principle five, talk in terms of what the other person wants. This way the meeting does not feel like a waste of time and the conversation is dominated by them. “The royal road to someone’s heart is to talk about what they treasure most” (pg 89) I’ve used this technique before, not professional, but when I meet someone and do my FBI research on their facebook to find out what they like.
I will work on setting up informational meetings and doing my research on the person before the meeting. Principle four sums up to giving the person a chance to talk and actually listen. “You’ve no idea what it meant to be listened to like that.” (pg 87) Ms. Alva has mentioned many times during debates that we can’t listen if we’re busy thinking about the next thing we are going to say. If you open your ears you might get lured by their actual importance as a human being. For example at the STEM conference we were having Questions and Answers with the ladies in the STEM field.
I kept spacing out and missing everything the lady was saying and I realized I wasn’t making an effort to be interested. I remembered a quote from Carnegie “To be interesting be interested” (pg 88). I actually started listening and having questions to ask. By the end of the conversation she was asking me questions about what I wanted to do and she gave me her email in case I had any questions.When talking to someone it’s important to ask yourself, “What is there about him/her that I can honestly admire?” (pg 94) Principle 6, to make the other person feel like they’re walking on air. There should be a satisfaction you feel to know that you made someone feel good about themselves. “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
” (pg 96). The easiest way to make someone feel important is to directly tell them that you think they’re important. For example my cousin trusts me and comes to me with any problem and when she does I’m all ears, engaged in her problems and the conversation.I have applied these principles throughout all of last week. Personally, I feel principle 6 is repeated a lot in different ways.
This is important and can often be faked so it’s important to point out that being sincere is an important part of these principles. To better word principle 6 ” Make people realize that they are actually important by first realizing it yourself.”