INTRODUCTION

Perceived
parenting styles can be defined as an option or a choice that is given to a
child on the parenting style or parental behaviour during their childhood. In
accordance to the definition it very important to look into the perceived
parenting style. There are 4 types of perceived parenting styles: authoritative
, authoritarian , permissive and uninvolved parenting styles. Several studies
have shown that rejective and overprotective parenting styles are dominantly
related with the child’s emotional intelligence(Fonte, 2009; Lopes et al.,
2004) which will have a direct reflection towards their self esteem level and
anxiety level in social situations. Percieved parenting style being the
perception of parenting by the children themselves it is highly recommended to
be assessed . Looking into the theoretical model of perceived parenting style ,
it predominantly consist of care and overprotection(Gordon Parker, 1983). I
another study it has been found that rejective and overprotective parenting
style is highly associated with major sessions of depression in children
(Bemporad & Romano, 1992). Hence , 
low level of care and also overprotection shown by parents are likely to
affect their susceptibility to depression , low self esteem , low ability
,emotional intelligence and also self image(Thammawijaya, 2012). Moreover it is
to be noted that children with lack of care and extreme control leads to being
dependant on parents and lack the ability to solve problems by themselves and
on being autonomous.

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Looking into the models put forward by psychologists,
Erik Erikson and others claim that there 
two aspects of parenting are especially important throughout childhood
and adolescents to the adult they become. 
2 major dimensions of parenting:

·        
Acceptance/responsiveness  which is the support and affection a parents
displays to the child. Those Parent classified as accepting and responsive would
have characteristics as smiling at praises and encourages their children , those
expressing a great amount of warmth, at the same time becomes enough critical
when the child behaves in an unacceptable manner. At the same time looking into
the less accepting and comparatively unresponsive parents are majorly quick to
criticize, belittle , more of punishments or even ignorance to child. Apart
from these they also are characterised by less communication to their children
that they are valued or loved.

·        
Demandingness/ Control is a dimension of
parenting which states on the amount of supervision or regulation the parents
put to their children . When it comes to the child’s freedom of expression ,
the controlling and demanding parents keep limits in ways of imposing demands
and extremely surveying their children’s behaviour so as to ensure that the not
acceptable behaviours are not followed.

Apart from the dimensions , it turns out that the two
major parenting dimensions are reasonably independent and there are 4 patterns
of parenting styles:

 

1)      Authoritarian
: Authoritarian parenting is the kind of parenting where the parents appear not  sensitive to a child’s conflicting view
points and suggestions, Instead they expect the child to accept their orders as
law and their authority to be respected by them. It is a  very restricting pattern of parenting in which
rules are imposed on the child by the parents, and expecting them to be obeyed,
where explanations are not given , making the child to comply with all the
regulations and often has to rely on punitive and forceful tactics to gain
compliance .

2)       Authoritative parenting: this is a parenting
style where the parents are controlling but flexible as well where they ,make
many reasonable demands of their children. These parents are careful to provide
rationale for complying with the limits they set and they endure that their
children follow those guidelines. These parenting style involves more of
accepting their children’s point of view and responds to those views. They also
encourage  their children’s participation
in family decision making.

3)      Permissive
parenting: These parenting style has more of  accepting but lax pattern of parenting in
which the demands made by the parents are less and  permission to expression of their feelings are
given. And also the children’s activities are in a less monitoring pattern ,
and rarely  control over the child’s
behaviour.

4)      Uninvolved
parenting: In recent years it has been seen through studies that the least successful
parenting  is what might be termed
Uninvolved parenting which is termed to be an extremely lax and undemanding
approach towards the parenting style displayed by parents who have either
rejected their children or with all the stressors and problems faced in their
life, they don’t have much time or energy to spend to their children. (Maccoby
& Martin, 1983). By the age of  3
children of uninvolved parents looking into aggression and externalising
behaviours such as temper tantrums are relatively high. (Miller et al 1993).
Further more the children undergone uninvolved parenting tend to be disruptive
and  performs poorly in classroom (Eckenrode,Laird,
& Doris, 1993).Apart from these they often become hostile , selfish and
rebellious adolescents for whom the meaning of long range goals are lacking and
are prone to commit anti social and delinquent acts such as, sexual misconduct,
alcohol and drug abuse, truancy and a wide variety of criminal offenses( Kurdek
& Fine, 1994 ; Pattreson , Reid & Dishion,1992) . In effect to this
kind of parenting , their children  have
neglectful (“or even detached”) parents whose actions seems to be saying ” I
don’t care  about you or what you do”- which
is understood as a message that undoubtedly shows resentment and willingness to
strike back at these aloof , showing out  uncaring adversaries or at other authority
figures.

 

Self esteem Is ones Belief in his/her abilities and
his/her worth or value seen by oneself. It can be explained as the extend to
which one accepts , respects and likes . High self esteem helps one to meet
everyday challenges and stay on board to become the self that one wants to be.
Self esteem is not conceit or self absorption. Genuine self esteem is liking ,
accepting and  respecting oneself.

Those with low self esteem may react by:

·        
Blaming others for their own weakness or
faults

·        
Becoming easily frustrated or defensive by
a situation

·        
By Avoiding situations that make them
uncomfortable

·        
Feeling weak and incompetent

·        
Feeling others don’t value them

·        
Expressing few emotions

·        
Being influenced easily by others

Low Self esteem often leads to conditions such as loneliness,
anxiety , resentment, irritability and low life satisfaction. Having low self
esteem can affect ones career relationship and mental health problems . Major
aspects such as quality of decisions and actions an individual has taken ,
which in turn can be traced back to low self esteem.

During
young adolescence when level of self esteem is identified,  Social anxiety  is defined to be the fear one bears of being
judged and evaluated negatively by others. Developing social anxiety leads one to
feel inadequate, inferior to others, feeling of embarrassment, humiliation and
sense of depression. Social anxiety can
also be stated as  the fear  one holds to oneself towards social situations
which involves interactions and  involvement
interaction with other people.  It thus  is considered to be a pervasive disorder  seen to cause anxiety and fear in most and
major seas of ones life. Social anxiety can be 
chronic because it cannot be got rid of  on its own. People with social anxiety are
considered to be shy , quiet , withdrawn, backward , more inhibitions,
unfriendly mannerisms, too nervous, aloof and disinterested to social
activities.  

 

Paradoxically, people facing social anxiety is observed
to be the ones who wants to make friends,  to be included in groups, and be involved and  engaged in social interactions.  But the
ones with social anxiety prevents themselves from being able to do the all the
activities  they want to do.  

 

Young
adulthood: From the year 1995 , one of the main psychologists , Jeffrey Jensen
Arnett, PhD, to know about the needs and wants of young adults at their present
developmental stage conducted a research on 300 young adults, from age 18 to 29
from cities around the nation for over a period of 5 years. He interviewed and
questioned them about what they wanted out of life for which he was struck by
the common element he found in all the answers was the ‘feeling in between’- a
feeling that they explained to be pulling clear of struggles  gone through adolescents and to the start of
feeling responsible for themselves, where in they are independent but at the
same time closely sticking on to their parents and family.

They
also reported pondering their personal identity, a theme that surprised Arnett,
Who thought most would have settled that question as adolescents. Working from
those interviews and examining broad demographic indicators, Arnett proposed a
new period of life span development he calls ” Emerging adulthood” Which Eric
Erikson articulates to be called the Early Adulthood or young adulthood where
their psychosocial crisis is Intimacy versus Isolation.

Five
Features of Emerging Adulthood

·        
Age of identity exploration. Young people
are deciding who they are and what they want out of work, school and love.

·        
Age of instability. The post- high school
years are marked by repeated resident changes, as young people either go to
college, or live with friends or a romantic partner. For most , frequent moves
end as families and careers are established in 30s.

·        
Age of self focus. Freed of the parent-
and society directed routine of school young people try to decide what they
want to do , where they want to go and who they want to be with- Before those
choices get limited by the Constraints of marriage , children and a career.

·        
Age of feeling in between . Many emerging
adults say they are taking responsibility for themselves, but still not
completely feel like an adult where in they are still attacjed and dependant on
their parents and family.

·        
Age of possibilities. Optimism reigns.
Most adults who gets into adulthood from adolescence believe they have good
chances of living ” better than their parents did “,and even if their parents
are separated or divorced they have an intense belief that they will find a
soul mate for lifetime. 

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