I woke up at the morning with the most dreaded thought. It’s a morning to say Goodbye!! Our son who is 3 yrs. old; his dad kissed him while sleeping and slipped out from the room. We gave a big hug to each other.Up to this point..
..I managed this situation rock strong without shedding a single drop of tears.
But then from my balcony I saw him wiping his eyes and try holding back his tears. It was the first time I ever saw him crying, we have said several goodbyes before then. But I always thought it’s a wife who is left behind alone, and it became a challenge for her in being patient, particularly when dealing with the common question from kids “When’s he home?” – I don’t know. “Why he hasn’t come?” – I don’t know. “Have you heard from him?” – No! “Has he spoken with u?” – No! “Where is he?” – I don’t know.
How will you explain to your kids that dad is away?How will you help them cope through the frequent transitions of a two parent to one parent?How can you be patient while seeing your son wait for his dad from balcony and the disappointment when he doesn’t come home that night or the next, or the next…But I burst into tears when I saw him wiping his eyes and felt he is going to be lonely more than me. Leaving me and his 3 yrs. little baby took a toll on him.People think and talk about mariner’s wives so many times on so many occasions-how strong they are when their men go on exercise. They become super MOM, super Women, super Wife and so on.
I do agree! Kids might call them MOM but truth is they are MOM and DAD, House cleaner, home decorator, homework manager, teacher, accountant, bill payer etc.…But what about that man? ….Who is going to spend chunks of the months 60m underwater and will have no idea where. ….He will likely be working six hours on, six hours off for the entire sailing days that he is away.….In a world of tweets, texts, Facebook, email, chats he will be completely incommunicado when out on an ‘exercise’ (sailing) which can stretch from 4 days to 45 days.….
He don’t know for his next holiday plans, visits to/by family, dinner plans because he just don’t know the sailing schedule in advance. ….He will potentially not be spending Birthdays and Anniversaries with his loved one rather with torpedo tubes.….
Before going to sailing fight with spouse is usually an expression of the sadness he feels that he is going away again and has nothing to do with what he is fighting about.….Proudly brings home his chocolate rations so he can share it with his family. ….He will sleeps like a narrow unmoving tube because he’s so used to sleeping in a narrow bunk rather than a bed.
….Will not bath the entire time he’s been sailing (2 weeks to 40 days),Except his sea water swimming.….No matter how long he’s been sailing but will not be hugged by his wife when he comes back home, because of the smell-a combination of sweat, grease, bilge, and feet.….And when he is back he will just say one word ‘all right?’ with that word he reassure us that he is the same person he was when he left. Then the answer I give – ‘Yeah, I am?’ and with that he knows they are the same person they were when he left and everything is going to be alright.
Today as a navy wife I would like to say -Sometimes we get pissed off when he tell us he is missing our first wedding anniversary, or have duty weekend, or withdraw a movie followed by romantic dinner plan suddenly after a call, at that time he is equally sad too.But that’s not the only thing you will ever be. Instead, your time as a Navy wife is a role you play valiantly, with style, with grace, with love. You trust that it will be worth it in the end. I know it is always for me.So to all who stand with a submariner, I’m proud of you all! I am supremely proud that I married with a real man who needs nothing of life’s luxuries, survives in the most basic living conditions all to keep his family and country safe. Despite the smell a submariner’s homecoming is one of the sweetest moments in a submariner’s wife’s life.
The day he is home is a day of celebration. Thank you so much for reading my blog. Please share your thoughts if you feel the same as I!