Awake.Waking up only exists while one is asleep;Sleeping only exists while one is awake.But does it matter?We yearn to tear away the reality of either one by replacing it with the other, only to find no satisfaction in doing so.Like a mirror, you copy the pattern on both sides; you rip away the seams of what is real by slumber, then you tear away the false sense of reality, ending up back at the beginning.But like a mirror, the pattern won’t stop until you take away the item causing the reflection—–In reality.
But which side is reality?All of this—Does it lead to anything?What good is thinking about this even for?There is no benefit.There is no proper answer.Or is there?I chose dream over reality.However, that’s not where I wanted to be—I wanted a word, something to guide me into reality, still keeping touch with my my true feelings.But that seemed impossible.
I never told anyone about my hopes and dreams, because I thought they would be upset with me. I merely wrote about them.I wrote poetry, I wrote stories, about how I really felt.
I wrote about disappointment and pressure—I was a mirror.My emotions spoke through the illusion, and I copied their words into my writing.I was never scared about the fact that my aspirations would not become true, I was scared that other people would think that they were vapid.I thought,”My ambitions are hopeless— why can’t I move on?” But I refused to truly feel that way.I didn’t know much on how to deal with myself, but I did know one thing— even though it may only make me forget for a moment—-I knew how watch a video.YouTube was always there when I needed it— it made me find interests that would lead me to meeting my closest friends, it was there when I wanted to watch the people that helped me find my ambitions, and now, it would help me again.Upon opening the app, I stumbled across a song that looked like it was in a series I was watching.As I listened to the song lyrics, I slowly realized many things that I never noticed before.The song was about life’s small problems, and how we had to ignore the little things that would not impact us if we ignored them.It told us how we could lose ourselves in stress sometimes.Then came a thought.A thought that took away the scared feeling I had before.A thought that rekindled a fire.A thought that told me that, I didn’t have to listen to anyone that told me who to be.It told me that everyone cannot control me.