Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease,typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome but that’snot always the case.
Unfortunately, this is what thousands of Americans arefaced with every day.Meghan’s anxiety attacks are stress induced. Its starts withlightheadedness, her thoughts begin to swirl. Are his blood sugars to high, whycan’t I keep his sugars up? Does he have ketones? Why did he just up and leave?Did he really love me? Are the nurses taking care of him? Freeze.
Her mind goesblank. She takes a deep breath, but it seems like nothing is being inhaled.Heart races, palpitates, she’s getting shaky.
Why the fuck did he leave? Her heartis beating out of her chest. Sweat beads from her forehead. How am I going toafford daycare this week? She takes the deep breath that she was longing tobreathe. The shakiness starts to ease. Will I have enough food for my kids toeat? She takes an Ativan and a sip of ice cold water.
Breathe Meghan breathe! Thefeeling of losing consciousness overcomes her, she falls to the floor. Splashof water to her face. She wakes but is pale. She’s finally calm. My Anxiety is generalized anxiety and social anxiety. I tendto get anxious in what, I, consider the weirdest situations. Whether I am I aclass, or walking in to an unknown store or defending myself. It always seemsto be here.
Imagine being in a room full of people, suddenly this overwhelmingfear that, everyone is looking at you, when they really aren’t. It engulfs yourthoughts, almost haunts you. He walks in and looksat me. I start to tense up, tunnel vision sets in. My hands get clammy. Thiskid just sat down right next to me.
Why would he sit next to me? My chest getsheavy, stomach turns in knots, toes curl. My legs start to bounce. Its breaktime, I dash for the door. Get to my van, cigarettes, lighter in hand. I rollthe window down. Breathe.
I feel the burn of the cigarette in my throat. Stareout my window. Exhale.
I can feel my heart beating through my chest. Justbreathe. I get up and lock the car. head back to the room, my comfy oasis nextto the windows. This kid is still sitting next to me. My head is aching.
Whatdid the professor just say? People behind me, this hall feels so long, oh no,tunnel vison again. Another new adventure. Oh, my sweet oasis by the window, atleast the sky is cloudless and blue.
Please for the love of god, don’t sit nextto me. The churning of my stomach is back. This will be the class where I don’thave an attack. He looks at me dead in the eye, he can tell that I am uncomfortable.
He sits a chair away. Thank god. My face gets hot, I can feel the perspiration formingunder my arms. Will this feeling ever stop? I stare out the window and shut thenoise out, in through the mouth and out through the nose.
I can feel myselfrelax. Tiredness washes over me. Everyperson has different feelings when they have an anxiety attack, Attacks aretriggered by thoughts the majority of the time. The thought itself could comefrom different things. Like thinking too long, or just a random thought in theday, or the thought at the beginning of the day. To me it feels like you arebeing dragged through hell and back.
Normally, when someone is having anattack, the common symptoms are short of breath, uncontrollable fear, or evendizziness. You really can’t control anything no matter how hard you try. Itshard to speak like you’re getting chocked. Your heart feels like it’s beating amillion times per minute.
It’s a very unfortunate thing to have to deal with